There is a Facebook site titled "We are Utleys" where those with my surname, 195 strong have left posts chronicling their roots across North America. I am reprinting the Ancient History of the Distinguished Surname "Utley" for them. I have this document hanging proudly in my home. Enjoy all ye who form Utley Nation.
The Saxon Chronicle is a manuscript which was painstakingly researched by monks of the 10th century and now dwells in the British Museum. Emerging through the Chronicles of history is one of the oldest family names, Utley and the distinguished history of this surname is interwoven into the tapestry of the history of England.
Historical analysts have used many sources in the preparation of this document such as the Domesday Book, the Ragman Rolls (1291-1296), the Curia Regis Rolls, The Pipe Rolls, the Hearth Rolls, parish registers, baptismals and tax records.
They found the first record of the Utley name in Shropshire where they were seated from early times and their records first appeared on the early census rolls taken by the early Kings of Britain to determine the rate of taxation on their subjects.
The surname Utley was found in the archives, the name was sometimes revealed as Ottley, Otley, Oatley, Otely and these changes in spelling occurred even between father and son. It was not uncommon, for example for a person to be born with one spelling variation, married with another and yet another to appear on their gravestone. Scribes spelled the name it sounded as it was told to them. From century to century the spellings changed.
The family name Utley was found to be descended from the Saxon race. The Saxons were a fair-skinned people led by the brothers Generals/Commanders Hengist and Horsa, who settled in England around 400 A.D. They first settled on the east coast coming from the Rhine Valley. They spread north and westward from Kent and during the next 400 years forced the Ancient Britons back into Wales and Cornwall to the west, Cumbria and Scotland to the north.
The family name Utley emerged as a notable English family in the county of Shropshire where they were recorded as a family of great antiquity seated as Lords of the manor of Oteley and estates in that shire. They branched to to Pitchford in that same shire. By the 13th century they branched north into Yorkshire and into Shropshire where they held considerable estates. They also settled in Oteley in Middlesex. George Ottley was Lord Mayor of London in 1444.
The next two or three centuries found the name Utley flourishing and contributing greatly to the culture of the nation. England was ravaged by religious conflict during 16th, 17th and 18th centuries. Protestantism, the newly founded political fervour of Cromwellianism, and the remnants of the Roman Church rejected all but the most ardent followers. Many families were freely "encouraged" to migrate to Ireland, or to the Colonies. Some were rewarded with grants of land, others were indentured as servants for as long as 10 years.
These unsettling times were disturbing and the New World beckoned the adventurous. They migrated, some voluntarily from Ireland, some by Army service, but mostly directly from England. Some also moved to the European continent.
Members of the family name Utley sailed aboard the armada of small sailing ships known as "White Sails", which plied the stormy Atlantic. The overcrowded ships were pestilence ridden, sometimes 30-40% of the passenger list never reaching their destination, their numbers decimated by sickness and the elements. Many were buried at sea.
Included amongst the first migrants who settled in North America, which could be considered a kinsman of the surname Utley, or a variable spelling of that family name was William Otley who settled in Philadelphia in 1850.
The east coast ports were crowded. From the port of entry many settlers trekked their way west, joining the wagon trains to the prairies or the west coast. During the American War of Independence, many loyalists made their way to Canada about 1790, and became known as the Empire Loyalists. They were granted equivalent lands along the banks of the St. Lawrence and in the Niagara Peninsula.
During the course of research of the Utley name it was determined the many Coat of Arms were granted to different branches of the family name. The most ancient grant of a Coat of Arms was silver with three black lion heads and a black boarder.
***Note this written information was provided by a firm called History of Names from Marco Island, Florida.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, August 30, 2010
Clay-Nation Final Report August 29, 2010
My lofty goal in London was to write a daily blog during CLAY, however the 20 hour workdays for NPC members on Thursday, Friday and Saturday left no time for quasi-journalism. This Clay-Nation Report will attempt to tie up loose ends.
Father Bill Cliff delivered and then some as keynote speaker at Large Group Gatherings and through his forum offering, "Bull with Bill." When observing Father Bill in action speaking to a group of 1000 youth, it was apparent his sincerity and credibility like cream rose to the top. This would explain why youth raced to get good seats as soon as the doors to the LGG sessions were opened. Youth will likely remember for a long time Father Bill's definition of grace and mercy and "when enough is enough."
Another Forum event youth could attend Friday afternoon was "Jam With The Band." Members of the CLAY band drew a crowd of 200 youth for an up close and personal discussion with the band. Brian Rude, a Lutheran missionary in El Salvador for over two decades lead a forum titled Vitality in El Salvador. Forums proved to be popular with youth and had something for every palate.
Youth and Home Team Leaders were divided into two groups for an excursion on successive afternoons at Fanshawe Pioneer Village. Even went the first day and oddly enough I was lumped in with the odd. Participants on Friday enjoyed near-perfect weather while those who attended Saturday afternoon (including the blogger) had an old fashioned bbq in the rain. The rain also washed out plans for youth to walk as a group to attend a service Saturday evening in Victoria Park. The solution was to have the LGG evening session run longer and for Late Night Spots to begin earlier and run from 10:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.
The Hands On Drama Team of Martine Teetaert, Peter Reinhardt, Caroline Wintoniw and Kristian Jordan proved to be a crowd favorite under the direction of Whitehorse drama-alumnus Andraea Sartison. The drama team retold the story of the Good Samaritan and The Prodigal Son as a prequel to Father Bill's biblical message. The antics of Kyrie George portrayed by Peter Reinhardt as a youngster with more questions than any parent could be reasonably expected to provide answers to were memorable.
Late Night Spots in the Hilton Hotel advertised Saturday night as "Battle of the Bishops." Four Bishops joined forces to sing, the Helen Reddy classic, "I am Woman" to a delighted crowd of 250 youth and adults.
A popular Sunday morning activity outside the Convention Centre saw youth create a mosaic comprised of broken dish pieces on 12 inch by 12 inch plywood boards inset into mortar.
The partnership between the Lutheran and Anglican churches was deftly reinforced when the head of both churches answered the statement, "So You Think You Can Dance!" The final Large Group Gathering on Sunday included the announcement that Saskatoon will host CLAY on the 3rd weekend in August 2012.
As in Whitehorse, the blogger received a loud chorus of boos for proudly sharing his fashion passion for the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Good thing he isn't sensitive!
Come to Saskatoon in 2012...the table will be set.!
Father Bill Cliff delivered and then some as keynote speaker at Large Group Gatherings and through his forum offering, "Bull with Bill." When observing Father Bill in action speaking to a group of 1000 youth, it was apparent his sincerity and credibility like cream rose to the top. This would explain why youth raced to get good seats as soon as the doors to the LGG sessions were opened. Youth will likely remember for a long time Father Bill's definition of grace and mercy and "when enough is enough."
Another Forum event youth could attend Friday afternoon was "Jam With The Band." Members of the CLAY band drew a crowd of 200 youth for an up close and personal discussion with the band. Brian Rude, a Lutheran missionary in El Salvador for over two decades lead a forum titled Vitality in El Salvador. Forums proved to be popular with youth and had something for every palate.
Youth and Home Team Leaders were divided into two groups for an excursion on successive afternoons at Fanshawe Pioneer Village. Even went the first day and oddly enough I was lumped in with the odd. Participants on Friday enjoyed near-perfect weather while those who attended Saturday afternoon (including the blogger) had an old fashioned bbq in the rain. The rain also washed out plans for youth to walk as a group to attend a service Saturday evening in Victoria Park. The solution was to have the LGG evening session run longer and for Late Night Spots to begin earlier and run from 10:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.
The Hands On Drama Team of Martine Teetaert, Peter Reinhardt, Caroline Wintoniw and Kristian Jordan proved to be a crowd favorite under the direction of Whitehorse drama-alumnus Andraea Sartison. The drama team retold the story of the Good Samaritan and The Prodigal Son as a prequel to Father Bill's biblical message. The antics of Kyrie George portrayed by Peter Reinhardt as a youngster with more questions than any parent could be reasonably expected to provide answers to were memorable.
Late Night Spots in the Hilton Hotel advertised Saturday night as "Battle of the Bishops." Four Bishops joined forces to sing, the Helen Reddy classic, "I am Woman" to a delighted crowd of 250 youth and adults.
A popular Sunday morning activity outside the Convention Centre saw youth create a mosaic comprised of broken dish pieces on 12 inch by 12 inch plywood boards inset into mortar.
The partnership between the Lutheran and Anglican churches was deftly reinforced when the head of both churches answered the statement, "So You Think You Can Dance!" The final Large Group Gathering on Sunday included the announcement that Saskatoon will host CLAY on the 3rd weekend in August 2012.
As in Whitehorse, the blogger received a loud chorus of boos for proudly sharing his fashion passion for the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Good thing he isn't sensitive!
Come to Saskatoon in 2012...the table will be set.!
Friday, August 20, 2010
CLAY-Nation Report London, Ontario August 19, 2010
The first full day of CLAY 2010 is in the archives. Thursday began with Home Team Leaders registering in the morning. Judy Steers and her enthusiastic group of Ask and Imagineers led youth in welcome activities during the afternoon. Kudos to the A&I youth for sharing their gifts of music, dance and laughter. Wherever you looked throughout the Convention Centre, HTL's and youth claimed squatting rights and held impromptu card games and fellowshipped in different ways.
At 4:00 p.m. youth flocked to Grand Ballroom 1 and 2 in the Convention Centre for the highly-anticipated Large Group Gathering kick-off. For close to two hours youth were treated to drama, interactive music from the band, video clips, puppetry, a tag team message from Bishop of Huron Bob Bennett and ELCIC Eastern Synod Bishop Michael Pryse. Let's not forget the straw who will stir the drink for four days as keynote speaker, Father Bill Cliff. He encouraged "shout outs" from the youth and they didn't disappoint. The technical crew made sure it all unfolded as planned. It was a terrific start to CLAY 2010.
Following LGG #1 the Convention Centre banquet team did what they do best...feeding the multitudes. Lasagne, caeser salad, breadsticks and dessert provided sustenance for what would be a long evening for the Clay-Nation. At 7:00 p.m. Doug Sole brought his high-energy ensemble of gifted musicians to lead a mega-interactive session of music that reinforced values. Doug undeniably dances to the beat of a different drummer! Plastic "boomwhackers" were distributed to every person and all in attendance would unanimously agree that they went to a youth gathering and a symphony broke out. Doug invited six Bishops to join him on-stage. CLAY is the perfect opportunity for Bishops to show youth they are human, approachable and put their Alb on one leg at a time.
Following the presentation by Soul Drums youth had two hours to take in the dance, relax at the Quiet Zone or compete in different arcade games in the Clayground. The Quiet Zone sounds boring on paper but it is a popular locale to spend time doing puzzles, playing board games, drawing or just having a normal table conversation. Next up was the Midnight Worship (9:00 p.m. Pacifc Time) at St. Paul`s Cathedral. Youth and HTL`s returned to their hotel rooms around 1:00 a.m.
For NPC members 2:00 a.m. couldn't come soon enough as they too retired for the night and looked forward to four hours sleep before their next meeting at 7:00 a.m. They could be forgiven for humming an MC Hammer song, you`ve got to pray....just to make it through CLAY`.
At 4:00 p.m. youth flocked to Grand Ballroom 1 and 2 in the Convention Centre for the highly-anticipated Large Group Gathering kick-off. For close to two hours youth were treated to drama, interactive music from the band, video clips, puppetry, a tag team message from Bishop of Huron Bob Bennett and ELCIC Eastern Synod Bishop Michael Pryse. Let's not forget the straw who will stir the drink for four days as keynote speaker, Father Bill Cliff. He encouraged "shout outs" from the youth and they didn't disappoint. The technical crew made sure it all unfolded as planned. It was a terrific start to CLAY 2010.
Following LGG #1 the Convention Centre banquet team did what they do best...feeding the multitudes. Lasagne, caeser salad, breadsticks and dessert provided sustenance for what would be a long evening for the Clay-Nation. At 7:00 p.m. Doug Sole brought his high-energy ensemble of gifted musicians to lead a mega-interactive session of music that reinforced values. Doug undeniably dances to the beat of a different drummer! Plastic "boomwhackers" were distributed to every person and all in attendance would unanimously agree that they went to a youth gathering and a symphony broke out. Doug invited six Bishops to join him on-stage. CLAY is the perfect opportunity for Bishops to show youth they are human, approachable and put their Alb on one leg at a time.
Following the presentation by Soul Drums youth had two hours to take in the dance, relax at the Quiet Zone or compete in different arcade games in the Clayground. The Quiet Zone sounds boring on paper but it is a popular locale to spend time doing puzzles, playing board games, drawing or just having a normal table conversation. Next up was the Midnight Worship (9:00 p.m. Pacifc Time) at St. Paul`s Cathedral. Youth and HTL`s returned to their hotel rooms around 1:00 a.m.
For NPC members 2:00 a.m. couldn't come soon enough as they too retired for the night and looked forward to four hours sleep before their next meeting at 7:00 a.m. They could be forgiven for humming an MC Hammer song, you`ve got to pray....just to make it through CLAY`.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Clay-Nation Report, London Ontario, August 18, 2010
Twas the day before CLAY and all through the house, not a Home Team Leader was stirring.... not even their spouse. Wednesday started with a 9:30 a.m. NPC meeting to go over the day's schedule and to confirm our assignments over the next four days. As much as schedules are vital we know that all NPC'ers must be ready to pitch in wherever and whenever we are needed. Besides being fashion trendsetters the NPC team must have good footwear because come tomorrow we will put in our first 18 hour day and the dogs will be barking for relief.
As a group we walked through all venues in the Convention Centre and Hilton London that will soon welcome youth and Home Team Leaders galore. Karen Triomphe will lead Home Team leader meetings in the LCC theatre. Karen has extensive experience as a member of the NPC and PCYM, as in Program Committee for Youth Ministry. Karen`s role is to provide information and answer questions from Home Team Leaders. HTL`s in turn spread the word to youth through the ever effective trickle-down effect.
The vision of Jordan Smith and his team was evident in the Large Group Gathering space. The music, drama, keynote presentations and special remarks by Bishops will leave an indelible mark on all those in attendance. The contracted technical crew and LCC in-house staff were busy running wiring, rigging, positioning lighting-sound equipment-giant projection screens and staging. To divulge anymore would violate my signed confidentiality agreement and make me a shoo-in for the RCMP Witness Protection Program. Leading a nomadic life with a new identity in a different province isn't for me.
The biggest NPC task of all may fall to Kristel Mann, the CLAY 2010 Registrar. Kristel resides in Winnipeg and has earned the respect of all on the NPC for her dedication and organizational skills. It was Kristel who received every Home Team registration package and painstakingly entered all pertinent information to ensure accuracy. Kristel had to connect with Home Teams if some registration information was not sent in or incorrectly filled out. Kristel will be front and center when Home Teams register and pick up their swag on Thursday. Thanks Kristel for the many hours you put in over the last two years as Registrar. Kristel is quick to point out she learned and had help from the best... her Mom, a former Registrar at CLYG. A hard work ethic is hereditary... like mother, like daughter.
The NPC gathering office was a beehive of activity all afternoon and into the evening as final preparations were being made to primp the registration area. Youth and Home Team Leaders will soon arrive with a host of questions, most of which can be answered in the Gathering Book that gets handed out in the bag of swag. It will become your new best friend until Sunday.
As a group we walked through all venues in the Convention Centre and Hilton London that will soon welcome youth and Home Team Leaders galore. Karen Triomphe will lead Home Team leader meetings in the LCC theatre. Karen has extensive experience as a member of the NPC and PCYM, as in Program Committee for Youth Ministry. Karen`s role is to provide information and answer questions from Home Team Leaders. HTL`s in turn spread the word to youth through the ever effective trickle-down effect.
The vision of Jordan Smith and his team was evident in the Large Group Gathering space. The music, drama, keynote presentations and special remarks by Bishops will leave an indelible mark on all those in attendance. The contracted technical crew and LCC in-house staff were busy running wiring, rigging, positioning lighting-sound equipment-giant projection screens and staging. To divulge anymore would violate my signed confidentiality agreement and make me a shoo-in for the RCMP Witness Protection Program. Leading a nomadic life with a new identity in a different province isn't for me.
The biggest NPC task of all may fall to Kristel Mann, the CLAY 2010 Registrar. Kristel resides in Winnipeg and has earned the respect of all on the NPC for her dedication and organizational skills. It was Kristel who received every Home Team registration package and painstakingly entered all pertinent information to ensure accuracy. Kristel had to connect with Home Teams if some registration information was not sent in or incorrectly filled out. Kristel will be front and center when Home Teams register and pick up their swag on Thursday. Thanks Kristel for the many hours you put in over the last two years as Registrar. Kristel is quick to point out she learned and had help from the best... her Mom, a former Registrar at CLYG. A hard work ethic is hereditary... like mother, like daughter.
The NPC gathering office was a beehive of activity all afternoon and into the evening as final preparations were being made to primp the registration area. Youth and Home Team Leaders will soon arrive with a host of questions, most of which can be answered in the Gathering Book that gets handed out in the bag of swag. It will become your new best friend until Sunday.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Clay-Nation Report London, Ontario August 17, 2010
At 9:00 a.m. the National Planning Committee reconvened for another lap of verbal updates to share late-breaking news related to Hands On. One of the questions heard throughout the morning was , "hey can somebody help me with...? We all pitched in where needed. Some NPC'ers were asked to take an oath of secrecy before being ushered into the loading dock area to assist with prop prep. This was classified "eyes only" clandestine work and to divulge anything further would jeopardize the moral fabric of democracy as we know it today.
The NPC broke into small groups after lunch to firm up more planning details and to attend meetings with Hilton and London Convention Centre staff. The synergy (no relation to sin-ergy) continues to build and the sheer reality of the gathering coming to fruition is sinking in.
Aristotle once claimed that, "the whole is more than the sum of its parts." At large-scale national events like the Canadian Lutheran Anglican Youth gathering, some of its parts are volunteers, without them it would be be impossible to host a multitude of youth, Home Team Leaders and clergy from across Canada for four days at different London venues.
Linda Grainger is the Local Committee Chair, a native of London and member of the National Planning Committee. Linda has mobilized an army of volunteers (Grainger's Rangers) to assist with security, transportation and the all-encompassing "and other duties as assigned." Linda and her team have scheduled volunteers to work shifts at numerous posts through the gathering. Linda is up front with the compensation expectations of potential volunteers, "let me put it this way...volunteers pay 0% income tax and you'll never get asked to take a pay cut."
At 6:00 p.m. enthusiastic youth members from SOC (Stewards of Creation) were busy bagging "swag" as part of a finely tuned assembly line. The youth traveled from London, Exeter, Centralia, Zurich and Milverton to volunteer a few hours and helped make short work of a repetitious task. Working side by side with NPC members, Local Committee members and conscripted family members... the youth rolled up their sleeves and filled swag bags that will be distributed to every Home Team in less than 48 hours upon registration.
Starting Wednesday, Home Teams will begin to arrive and check into their hotels. They will have a day to do some advance scouting of the downtown London area. The Clay-Nation will deliver an economic boost to the local economy and from my experience with local restaurants and merchants, the hospitality will be second to none.
The NPC broke into small groups after lunch to firm up more planning details and to attend meetings with Hilton and London Convention Centre staff. The synergy (no relation to sin-ergy) continues to build and the sheer reality of the gathering coming to fruition is sinking in.
Aristotle once claimed that, "the whole is more than the sum of its parts." At large-scale national events like the Canadian Lutheran Anglican Youth gathering, some of its parts are volunteers, without them it would be be impossible to host a multitude of youth, Home Team Leaders and clergy from across Canada for four days at different London venues.
Linda Grainger is the Local Committee Chair, a native of London and member of the National Planning Committee. Linda has mobilized an army of volunteers (Grainger's Rangers) to assist with security, transportation and the all-encompassing "and other duties as assigned." Linda and her team have scheduled volunteers to work shifts at numerous posts through the gathering. Linda is up front with the compensation expectations of potential volunteers, "let me put it this way...volunteers pay 0% income tax and you'll never get asked to take a pay cut."
At 6:00 p.m. enthusiastic youth members from SOC (Stewards of Creation) were busy bagging "swag" as part of a finely tuned assembly line. The youth traveled from London, Exeter, Centralia, Zurich and Milverton to volunteer a few hours and helped make short work of a repetitious task. Working side by side with NPC members, Local Committee members and conscripted family members... the youth rolled up their sleeves and filled swag bags that will be distributed to every Home Team in less than 48 hours upon registration.
Starting Wednesday, Home Teams will begin to arrive and check into their hotels. They will have a day to do some advance scouting of the downtown London area. The Clay-Nation will deliver an economic boost to the local economy and from my experience with local restaurants and merchants, the hospitality will be second to none.
Monday, August 16, 2010
CLAY-NATION REPORT: London, Ontario, August 16, 2010
Representing six Canadian Provinces, 18 members of the Canadian Lutheran Anglican Youth gathering(CLAY) National Planning Committee (NPC) touched down at London's airport all day Sunday and Monday to begin the pre-gathering logistical planning process for CLAY Hands-On. At 4:00 p.m. Sunday the temperature hit 30 Celsius with 75% humidity. Due to the Great Lakes windchill factor, jeans fuse permanently to exposed skin within 15 seconds. The sensation to nerve endings is conversely similar to that of a typical Saskatchewan winter minus the tongue-sticking-to-a-hockey-goalpost part! This Clay-Nation diarist paid the ultimate price for using poor fashion judgement.
NPC members filing into the Hilton Hotel on Sunday experienced an eerie calm before the highly anticipated storm of youth that would descend on the registration desk starting Thursday morning. Over two years of planning must quickly fall into place over the next three days as envisioned. It would soon be showtime!
At 10:00 a.m. Monday morning NPC members found their home-away-from-home for the next week; the NPC Gathering Office in the lower level of the London Convention Centre. The first task was to unload two pallets of office supplies, gathering books, two-way radio equipment and other crucial "command centre" supplies that were shipped from the ELCIC National Office in Winnipeg. The Gathering Office was rapidly taking shape.
The NPC convened at 2:30 in the Gathering Office. As laptops began to emerge from carrying cases the first four questions followed the same pattern as at previous meetings: (1) "do we have wireless Internet service?"..."where is the closest power source?", "who has the duct tape? " and "how far to the nearest washroom."
NPC 2010 Chair Christie Morrow called on NPC members one by one for a status report in their area of responsibility. Gathering Manager Heidi Wilker, no stranger to coordinating large-scale national events distributed a detailed schedule for the next 7 days that left no stone unturned. There was even three minutes set aside for the Saskatchewan Roughrider fans on the NPC to gloat about the Riders 5-2 record. The two Edmonton Eskimo fans on the NPC were unusually quiet and simply stared at the carpet as did the Blue Bomber fans. In a misery-loves-company kind of way...there was strength in numbers.
After meeting for another three hours the NPC broke ranks for the day and enjoyed a dinner together at a local eatery. At the same time in an unknown location, Program & Large Group Gathering Manager Jordan Smith and the sequestered drama/band halted their rehearsals to enjoy a meal together as well.
Only three more sleeps until CLAY Hands On goes live. Tuesday will be another full day of NPC meetings as gathering details get even more detailed. The synergy is building.
NPC members filing into the Hilton Hotel on Sunday experienced an eerie calm before the highly anticipated storm of youth that would descend on the registration desk starting Thursday morning. Over two years of planning must quickly fall into place over the next three days as envisioned. It would soon be showtime!
At 10:00 a.m. Monday morning NPC members found their home-away-from-home for the next week; the NPC Gathering Office in the lower level of the London Convention Centre. The first task was to unload two pallets of office supplies, gathering books, two-way radio equipment and other crucial "command centre" supplies that were shipped from the ELCIC National Office in Winnipeg. The Gathering Office was rapidly taking shape.
The NPC convened at 2:30 in the Gathering Office. As laptops began to emerge from carrying cases the first four questions followed the same pattern as at previous meetings: (1) "do we have wireless Internet service?"..."where is the closest power source?", "who has the duct tape? " and "how far to the nearest washroom."
NPC 2010 Chair Christie Morrow called on NPC members one by one for a status report in their area of responsibility. Gathering Manager Heidi Wilker, no stranger to coordinating large-scale national events distributed a detailed schedule for the next 7 days that left no stone unturned. There was even three minutes set aside for the Saskatchewan Roughrider fans on the NPC to gloat about the Riders 5-2 record. The two Edmonton Eskimo fans on the NPC were unusually quiet and simply stared at the carpet as did the Blue Bomber fans. In a misery-loves-company kind of way...there was strength in numbers.
After meeting for another three hours the NPC broke ranks for the day and enjoyed a dinner together at a local eatery. At the same time in an unknown location, Program & Large Group Gathering Manager Jordan Smith and the sequestered drama/band halted their rehearsals to enjoy a meal together as well.
Only three more sleeps until CLAY Hands On goes live. Tuesday will be another full day of NPC meetings as gathering details get even more detailed. The synergy is building.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Football With The Schmucks
We have all spent quality time with the Schmucks and over the course of our lives we have all likely exhibited public behavior that would confirm direct ancestral lineage to the Schmucks family stump. No... not a family tree but a stump as in Schmucks are dumb as a stump.
This expression while demeaning to stumps around the globe begs the question, "how many Schmucks could a woodchuck chuck...if a woodchuck could chuck Schmucks?" Every last one of them if I had my way!
If you jumped the queue when a cashier opened a till at the grocery store, you acted like a Schmuck. If you took that parking spot even though another motorist was waiting patiently to pull in...your birth certificate should read Schmuck albeit temporarily.
This column is dedicated to the lifelong Schmucks. The nimrods, nitwits, doofus-clones and spit-for-brains Schmucks who ply their craft on a daily basis. You and I may have a temporary lapse in judgement that puts us on par with a Schmuck...but rest assured, it is a temporary state. The lifelong Schmucks who gaze into a mirror see everyone but themselves as Schmucks.
Nobody ever accepts a social invitation to willingly spend time with the Schmucks, but rather your perfectly enjoyable family camping trip or dining experience will draw the Schmucks to you.
A family of Schmucks can vary in size. Sometimes you will only rub shoulders with the Mom and another time it may just be the Dad who ventures out to practice Schmuckery with equal parts of buffoonery.
Grandparents can act like Schmucks as well. Being longer in the tooth is not an automatic exemption from being branded a Schmuck. As they say, if the name fits, wear it. Brothers, sisters, cousins, in-laws, aunts, uncles etc believe in the adage, "strength in numbers." The bigger the stump....the dumber the numbers! A family reunion of Schmucks is an entry level step away from purgatory.
Some children become Schmucks because their parents provided a natural habitat for honing boorish behavior. Contrary to popular opinion nobody is born a Schmuck...you become a Schmuck. Some families are evenly divided between Schmucks and non-Schmucks. Schmucks who marry non-Schmucks may change their ways and lead a normal life but it is the exception not the rule.
Two years ago I purchased two Saskatchewan Roughrider season tickets. Season ticket holders ponder the same question as new homeowners...I wonder what the neighbors are like? At the first game I discovered immediately that one set of neighbors were a complete bunch of Schmucks.
On Thursday night the 1-5 B.C. Lions brought their losing record into Mosaic Stadium and the Rider faithful were bent on adding a few more feet to Wally Buono's skidmarks. The Schmucks could smell blood and were on their worst behavior. They did not disappoint all those within yelling distance who craved incomplete sentences, incoherent utterings and profanity-laced "cheering".
The liquor flowed like meandering lava through their lips which in turn filtered out intelligent thoughts from the brain leaving only booze-induced unintelligible comments to be launched in every direction for the entire game.
The only aspect of the game that caused the Schmucks to hold their tongue was the singing of O Canada. Beyond that everything was fair game when life is viewed through the glazed eyes of a Schmuck.
As long as I retain my current season tickets the Schmucks and I will be in close proximity...fused together like a motorcycle gang member and a tire iron. The problem with changing seats is there are thousands of other Schmucks throughout the stadium. Why forgo Schmucks only to discover bigger Schmucks two rows away.
How do I know so much about Schmucks? My brother Brian would respond, "takes one to know one." In the Utley family, the stump doesn't fall far from the tree.
Next Week: Brian Utley: the brother, the myth... the legend!
This expression while demeaning to stumps around the globe begs the question, "how many Schmucks could a woodchuck chuck...if a woodchuck could chuck Schmucks?" Every last one of them if I had my way!
If you jumped the queue when a cashier opened a till at the grocery store, you acted like a Schmuck. If you took that parking spot even though another motorist was waiting patiently to pull in...your birth certificate should read Schmuck albeit temporarily.
This column is dedicated to the lifelong Schmucks. The nimrods, nitwits, doofus-clones and spit-for-brains Schmucks who ply their craft on a daily basis. You and I may have a temporary lapse in judgement that puts us on par with a Schmuck...but rest assured, it is a temporary state. The lifelong Schmucks who gaze into a mirror see everyone but themselves as Schmucks.
Nobody ever accepts a social invitation to willingly spend time with the Schmucks, but rather your perfectly enjoyable family camping trip or dining experience will draw the Schmucks to you.
A family of Schmucks can vary in size. Sometimes you will only rub shoulders with the Mom and another time it may just be the Dad who ventures out to practice Schmuckery with equal parts of buffoonery.
Grandparents can act like Schmucks as well. Being longer in the tooth is not an automatic exemption from being branded a Schmuck. As they say, if the name fits, wear it. Brothers, sisters, cousins, in-laws, aunts, uncles etc believe in the adage, "strength in numbers." The bigger the stump....the dumber the numbers! A family reunion of Schmucks is an entry level step away from purgatory.
Some children become Schmucks because their parents provided a natural habitat for honing boorish behavior. Contrary to popular opinion nobody is born a Schmuck...you become a Schmuck. Some families are evenly divided between Schmucks and non-Schmucks. Schmucks who marry non-Schmucks may change their ways and lead a normal life but it is the exception not the rule.
Two years ago I purchased two Saskatchewan Roughrider season tickets. Season ticket holders ponder the same question as new homeowners...I wonder what the neighbors are like? At the first game I discovered immediately that one set of neighbors were a complete bunch of Schmucks.
On Thursday night the 1-5 B.C. Lions brought their losing record into Mosaic Stadium and the Rider faithful were bent on adding a few more feet to Wally Buono's skidmarks. The Schmucks could smell blood and were on their worst behavior. They did not disappoint all those within yelling distance who craved incomplete sentences, incoherent utterings and profanity-laced "cheering".
The liquor flowed like meandering lava through their lips which in turn filtered out intelligent thoughts from the brain leaving only booze-induced unintelligible comments to be launched in every direction for the entire game.
The only aspect of the game that caused the Schmucks to hold their tongue was the singing of O Canada. Beyond that everything was fair game when life is viewed through the glazed eyes of a Schmuck.
As long as I retain my current season tickets the Schmucks and I will be in close proximity...fused together like a motorcycle gang member and a tire iron. The problem with changing seats is there are thousands of other Schmucks throughout the stadium. Why forgo Schmucks only to discover bigger Schmucks two rows away.
How do I know so much about Schmucks? My brother Brian would respond, "takes one to know one." In the Utley family, the stump doesn't fall far from the tree.
Next Week: Brian Utley: the brother, the myth... the legend!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)